So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize