after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
