Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
