i just had sex bonerless
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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