he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
