6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
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Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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