I love black thongs
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
