I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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