the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
