Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
