Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
