Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My penis needs a shock collar
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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