Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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