Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
