There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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