I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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