So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I CAN MOONWALK!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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