fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
