Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
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Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
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I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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