i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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