Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
