one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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