Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
