you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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