Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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