I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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