fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
