I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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