i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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