Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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