why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
