The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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