oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's blow job season.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
