just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
