I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have aggressive nipples.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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