All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
