I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
