It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
