Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
