Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
