I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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