Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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