You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
