yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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