i jhust puked up my retainher.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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