I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
