Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
