oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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