I'm drive I can fine osifer
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
