I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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