im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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