college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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