I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize