dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
