I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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