i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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