I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
