You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
