did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
