idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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