literally had 100 drinks last night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
