remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
