and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
