then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
